Desire VS Compliance

I realized a while back that my truest desire for my children is that they will be guided by a Christ-heart. By that I mean that just as Christ was the ultimate selfless sacrifice, always looking at what can and should be done for others, I want my children to have that same selfless compassion working toward the good of all. The reality is that we are all born selfish creatures.

Now before you start thinking that I am going to delve into some deeply philosophical babble let me interject some real world examples. Doing the dishes in our house is a chore. In the perfect Christ world, the person in charge of dishes would 'want' to make sure their was always clean dishes to make life easier for the rest of us. This is something we should strive for as adults not just for our children. This is so much harder to do in reality.

I realized this desire on day as I was telling one of my children for the third time to set the table, that what I really wanted was for them to 'want' to set the table. How to implement this change of heart is the center of this post. Most often we try to make them 'want' to by enforcing compliance. Usually, the conversation starts and end with, "because I said so". Lately thought I have been wondering if this is the right approach. Like that because I force them to share their toys they will want to share them in the future.

As parents, I think we need to move beyond trying to enforce compliance and find the way to reach the heart. I don't know how to do this yet but I keep praying and trying to find the right answer. I do know this much; it has to start with our example.

Ouch!