Sunday, December 9, 2012

Special Delivery

Our lives are continually changing. With every passing second, cells are dying and being created. We age. We mature, We gain new insights. So you could say that we are always becoming. We are always being renewed or recreated. What we are now is different from what we were 2 days ago. We have had additional experiences that have changed us. Often these changes are small and barely noticeable. Sometimes there are huge and life changing. We tend to remember these big change times in our lives. This is called conversion.

In my life I have had a number of conversion experiences as I have grown in my relationship with God. My first conversion experience was 45 years ago. It was the day of my baptism. In a little Lutheran church in a small town in North Dakota, I was baptized as a small child, about 2 years old. It is this initial conversion that would set the stage for many future conversions. This gift given to me by my parents and grand parents (my grand parents were my god parents) would later blossom and come alive in my life.

My life after baptism was a normal secular life without any influences of God and church in my life. Yet the gift of baptism was still inside me waiting like a patient seed to be watered and have the sun shine on it. I was living the life of a normal, rebellious teenage boy, doing many of the things teenage boys do. On April 29, 1982 my life changed again in the split of a second. My dad, brother and I were out for a drive and there was an accident. My dad and brother had only minor bruises and scrapes. I, however, was left unconscious for 10 days with a brain stem contusion. After 30 days in the hospital, I was released with no real physical issues. But instead of feeling gratitude for God for sparing me I decided to live with reckless abandon.

My recklessness came to a head in 1987, I was at the lowest point in my entire life and I cried out to God that I needed him. My second conversion was at hand. I started attending church (Lutheran) and feeling the love of Jesus. Shortly after this conversion, I met my future wife and then joined the Catholic church. God is very good. He had delivered me from a dark place and time in my life.

Psalm 30:3-4  O Lord, my God, I cried out to you for help and you healed me. lord, you brought my soul up from Sheol; you let me live, from going down to the pit.

Yes, I was healed of a great many things that day. But there was a lot of work left to be done. The next 25 years would be a series of ups and downs, a series of conversions as I was maturing as a christian. On the outside I was a good christian and catholic. I attended mass weekly. I attended numerous men's retreats. I had 6 children which alone out to do it, right? Even though I appeared to be doing it all right but on the inside I was still plagued with sins that I could not overcome. I would go to reconciliation and receive forgiveness but I would still hold onto those sins. It was not Jesus but me that was keeping those sins alive in my heart.

Then came the latest conversion experience. In this conversion, I experienced the real and present God in my life. He came to me to offer the ultimate gift healing. Through the baptism I had received so many years ago, I was being offered forgiveness and washing away of my sins. As my mind was carried through baptismal waters I was cleansed. I cried like I had never cried before. My tears falling at the foot of the cross and Jesus telling me that He loves me. On that day, through the mercy of God, I was completely healed of my sins and my baptism was ignited with a zeal to love and serve Christ.

Psalm 30:12-13  You changed my mourning into dancing; you took off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness. So that my glory may praise you and not be silent. O Lord, my God, forever will I give you thanks.

On that day, I received joy. My mourning had truly been turned into dancing. I was given a boldness to proclaim the gospel and to sing His praises. This is what he wants for all his children for we are all children of God. It is my prayer that everyone will have the courage to cry out to the Lord for healing and forgiveness, so that their mourning will be turned into dancing.

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