Living Below Your Means

I think our society over the last 40 years has been in a practice of living at or above our means. That has finally come to bite us in the behind. What you are seeing now is a return to how people lived in the 50's and 60's. The idea that a person might have to "save up" to purchase something was a concept that was both foreign and repulsive to most people in America. The events of the last couple of years has produced a return to more traditional values. I think this is a good thing.

I guess I was lucky that my father from early on instilled on me these "old fashioned" values. The ideas of working for what you want and that you might have to save up to purchase something or, heaven forbid, sacrifice something. These are now carrying over into my family. I think that I have attempted to move this to a new level in my life and this is what I wish to talk about here.

My walk with Christ has led me on a path to truly examine my priorities and to let Christ guide my purchasing. I think I will start with a little history to explain this. My wife and I got married in 1988. At the time we both made approximately the same salary. As with most newlyweds, we dreamed of having children and buying a house. After about a year of marriage we became pregnant. The time to purchase a house had come. To qualify to buy a house we needed both incomes but because we had talked about it we made sure we purchased a house that we could afford on my income alone. This way we would not be forced into making my wife work to support a house. Having the option for my wife to stay home with our child was an important thing to us and one we were willing to "sacrifice" for.

People would tell me that it was impossible to raise a child on just one income. I would argue that most people were unwilling to raise a child on one income. Again, a difference in our way of thinking and our priorities. Please understand that there is no judgment here on working moms or anything like that. It is just important that you honestly look at your rationale behind your decisions and decide if you are being selfish or selfless.

Several years later, read 12, I had to make another big decision and take another leap of faith. This time it was a decision to put all of my children into private school. Because we had been "practicing" living below our means this was a possibility. We have never regretted the decision. Maybe I complain sometimes about all the stuff I could have but I know that I have made the right decision for my family.

Before anybody decides to get me fitted for a halo, let me tell you the other side of the story. Rarely does a week go by when I don't "want" to be selfish. I want the new car, the HDTV, and all of the other toys that society tells us we need. I often dream of "accidentally" pushing my TV off the shelf so I can get a new one because I can't justify getting a new one that I don't need. So, while my brain know I am doing what God calls me to, I am unable to rid myself of the selfish feelings I have.

I wanted Stereo but all I got was Mono!!

Sorry for the terribly bad pun. Mononucleosis is an incredibly nasty disease that has directly affected 4 members of my family. All of the family along with friends and acquaintances have been affected indirectly in having to deal with the affects of this disease. According to Wikipedia, the classical symptoms of mononucleosis are a sore throat, fever, fatigue, weight loss, malaise, pharyngeal inflammation, petechiae and loss of appetite. Here is a link to get the full scoop:

We go back to about the time when school was starting back around mid August. My 17 year old senior was starting volleyball practice along with my then 14 yr old freshman. The 17 year old was saying she was always tired, off and on she would state that her throat hurt. She was also not eating well and losing weight. She was not able to perform at the level she was used to in volleyball and was becoming very frustrated over it because she "knew" she could do better. We tried to get her to sleep more and to eat more but nothing seemed to help.

Parents usually seem to "get it" eventually and this was no exception. I don't like running to the doctor every time someone coughs or sneezes. but this was different now. We took her to the doctor to make sure something wasn't wrong that was causing the weight loss and other things. This is when we got the confirmation of "Mono". Good and bad because while now we have an explanation there is no treatment other than treating the symptoms.

So, about this time I start coming home from work and all I want to do is go to bed. I find myself feeling depressed and don't know why and other issues. After a few weeks I decide to go to the doctor and lo and behold I have mono. My 14 year old is trying to get adjusted to high school and is having some difficulties and you would think I would have cought on by now but, noooooo. After quite some I finally decide to take her to the doctor also to see if anything is wrong. We are now 3 for 3.

Along with all of the other drama in my life my oldest daughter is preparing to move to a foreign country for 4 months. She has a "cold" but we still think nothing of it. My previous post explains this part of the story in more detail so I won't go into it here.

The thing to take away from all of this is the next time you here about someone having "the kissing disease", it is a serious thing that while maybe not life threatening it is something serious. I sincerely hope this will be the end of "Mono" in my house because I don't know if I can handle anyone else getting it.

Here I come to save the day!!!

I remember as a kid watching Mighty Mouse and his famous saying, "Here I come to save the day". When I got married and then later a father I made myself the "Mighty Mouse" of the family. I have always kind of seen myself as the fixit guy. I cannot stand having anything broken around. Whether it is a leaky faucet or a hurting child I must fix it, immediately.

This can be a good thing sometimes. It is surely better than being totally apathetic all of the time. I think wisdom is finally taking over and I am learning when to not "fix" things. Often as the chief fixer, I rush in to "save the day". In typical superhero fashion I put on all of the "gear" I need to fix the problem at hand.

Like I rush into the bathroom where there is water on the floor with the wet vac in hand to suck up the water. I am 100% focused on this solution because, hey, I have a wet vac. It turns out the real problem is an overflowing toilet and I should turn the water off. We want to apply our solution and sometimes miss the fact that we are fixing the wrong problem. I think of story of a knight in shining armor going off to save the princess from the burning castle. Because eh assumed that the problem was the dragon and he brought his dragon fighting tools that is what needed to be done. It is a smart and brave knight that realizes he is fighting the wrong battle and will switch his plan.

Recently, I had such a situation where I had a daughter who was sick and in a foreign country. I was sure that what I needed to go was to save her to where she could stay where she was. I had battle plans and all the gear imaginable to save her. But by the grace of God, I was able to see that the solution/fixing I wanted to do was not the solution she needed. She is now home and recovering nicely. God is good and always has a plan, we just need to take the time to listen for it.