Construction Zone

I went by the church earlier for some adoration time. Our church is in the middle of a large renovation project. It looks very obvious that it is an add-on. I went on into our temporary chapel and sat before my Lord in the tabernacle.

There was a lot of noise from outside because of the construction. My thoughts went to the construction and then to my faith journey. Was my faith just an add-on? Is it something that I wear that just doesn't look quite right? Am I still the same 48 year old building on the inside?

I prayed on this for a while. 

I could hear all of the commotion going on outside. I wondered how many people were working on the church. I thought about the hundreds of hands that had and were working on the church. How many hands has God used in my life to renovate me? Who was He using to work on me now? The person who challenged me to go to adoration more frequently, to attend daily mass and pray the rosary. Sure, it is those people. It is also my family, friends, co-workers and classmates. 

I felt better realizing all the hands that were helping me along the way. But, was anything really changing on the inside. I got up to go back to work. On the way out, I ran into my pastor and he offered to take me inside of the church to see the renovations from the inside. I was amazed at how much had already been done. I could see all of the great changes that were going on inside. 

While it hurts a bit to have someone point out where you may be falling short, it is just those times that if we approach it with humility can yield some of the greatest renovations in our hearts. My heart feels better.

Crosses

The last couple of weeks have been pretty crazy. Classes, a totaled car, and a break in. This weekend we celebrated the feast of the Exaltation of the Cross. I went to mass with my daughter at Our Lady of Grace. The priest gave a marvelous homily about cross and if we really believed in the cross then it should be a game changer. It should make everything we do be seen through different eyes.

At the end of mass, he invited all to come up who had brought crosses to have them blessed. I looked at my daughter and thought, well we didn't bring any crosses to be blessed. Then it hit me. We had not brought any physical crosses to be blessed but we most certainly had brought crosses. I mean we definitely had them. It's not like we could have left these crosses outside the door of the church. We carry them wherever we go. So, she and I prayed that we might offer our crosses right there at the feet of Jesus.

Any Way The Wind Blows

I have been quiet for a while on purpose. But I felt very inspired today to share my experience from a few nights ago.

I went running a few nights ago. It was hot and i did not feel much like running. However, while I was trudging along, I felt a slight breeze that swept over me giving me strength to keep going. I immediately thought about how the Holy Spirit is like that. I ran along just enjoying my thoughts on the holy Spirit and started thinking about the wind, how sometimes it is soft and sometimes hurricane force and all places in-between. The holy Spirit is like that too. Paul certainly felt the Spirit like a hurricane being knocked off of his horse. Sometimes, He is like that still soft whisper that Elijah heard. I have experienced both and have come to appreciate both. It is pretty easy when God speaks to you like a hurricane and it left no doubt for Paul. I think more often though, God speaks to us in a whisper. I pray that we can all spend the time in quiet to hear God in the still soft whisper.

Is That All You Got...Give Me Something Hard

Why do we think that effort must be equal to reward? That is certainly what we are taught in today's society. We think God will require great sacrifice or devotion from us in return for miracles. Why do we keep putting limitations on God? He have a knack of limiting God according to our weaknesses.

Sometimes, all God wants from us is something simple. A simple act of obedience. A willingness to submit to the authority of God. Many examples exist in both the Old and New Testaments. Take the following passage from 2 Kings 5:

Elisha sent a messenger to him, saying, “Go, wash in the Jordan seven times, and your flesh shall be restored and you shall be clean.” 11 But Naaman became angry and went away, saying, “I thought that for me he would surely come out, and stand and call on the name of the Lord his God, and would wave his hand over the spot, and cure the leprosy![f] 12 Are not Abana[g] and Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? Could I not wash in them, and be clean?” He turned and went away in a rage. 13 But his servants approached and said to him, “Father, if the prophet had commanded you to do something difficult, would you not have done it? How much more, when all he said to you was, ‘Wash, and be clean’?” 14 So he went down and immersed himself seven times in the Jordan, according to the word of the man of God; his flesh was restored like the flesh of a young boy, and he was clean.

 How often are we like Naaman? How often have I refused a gift from God? Whatever he is asking of you may be as simple as turning off a light. 

I am reminded of a story about a little girl about 7 years old. She had a pretty toy pearl necklace. it was her most prized possession in the world. One day her Dad came in, at bedtime, and asked her to give him the necklace. She refused and he walked away. This continued for a couple more nights. Finally, on the fourth night when he came in, he could see that she had tears in her eyes. As he approached her bed, she held out her hand. In her hand was the toy necklace. He accepted it from her and then handed her a little box. She opened the box and inside was a real pearl necklace.

Our heavenly Father is waiting to give us great things too. Things greater than we can imagine but we have to be willing to let go of what is holding us back.

On a Mission

I will be leaving in a few days for a mission trip to South Texas, deep south Texas. We will be working there with the poor. Helping in whatever way we can. I have a number of thoughts running through my head as the time for departure draws near. A common theme coming from Pope Francis is the need to reach out to the poorest and neediest of our society. I wonder, on this mission, trip who is reaching out to who. Are we seeking the neediest or are we the neediest?

How will this all come together? I am not in charge of this trip. So, I have to surrender some control and trust that all will be taken care of. I know we will be near San Juan, TX. That is about it. There is supposedly a hotel that we will be staying at and we will be fed. I am driving down there but don't know where we are going exactly. This makes me a bit nervous but not worried exactly. This has been done before and it will all fall into place, it always does.

I have heard a little about the people and conditions down there. Will I be up to the challenge? Will I be able to put my own selfish desires aside for a while, for these people? 

I don't really know what I will be doing or much of anything about this trip but I find myself excited for the opportunity. The times in my life when I have felt most satisfied and fulfilled have been when I was able to put myself aside for the service of others. I can't think of a better way to spend spring break. 

I have no doubt that this will be one of those times where no matter how much we help the people down there, we will undoubtedly feel that we have received even so much more in return. For to give of oneself will help to reach that place in us that can only be filled with the love of God. As St. Francis says, "It is in giving that we receive".

What's In Your Head?

Last summer I spent a week doing Zumba everyday with my wife. Let me tell you it is quite a workout.

For those of you that don't know, Zumba is an exercise program designed mainly for women. The music, the moves and so on are all designed to appeal to women. At least that is my experience. It was a really tough workout. I did enjoy it. After a couple of days I started having fun with the girly songs and tried to have as much fun as possible with it.

Anyway, these catchy songs get stuck in your head and this was certainly the case with me. One of the songs had a line in it that went, "La, la, la". It was so stuck in my head that I finally texted the instructor and said, "La, la, la GET OUT OF MY HEAD". Luckily this did not stay forever. I am back to "normal" now, kind of. 

My journey so far through diaconate formation has been good. I realized last night that God seemed to be stuck in my head. It seems that everything going on around me suddenly reminds me of God.

Last night we were trying to get my son to practice his guitar. He like the guitar but because practice was going to interrupt what he was doing, he came back with, I don't like guitar, I never liked guitar and so on. I was getting frustrated with him and then it dawned on me that this is the same way we treat God.

Oh God, I love you and will do anything for you. At least until it interrupts what I want to do. I love you, God but the big game is on. I love you God but I have to work more to make more money to buy more things. I can only imagine how frustrated God must be with us when you emotions and devotion can just turn on a dime. We can easily fall into the trap where we only want to follow God when it is convenient for us.

The good news in all of this is that God is way more patient than I am.

A Love Like No Other

One of my college girls challenged me to think about Valentines Day differently this year. To think of it in the terms of Christ's love for us. 

As I think back over the years, I see so many examples of His love for me. Mostly, I see this in my wife of 25 years. This is our 27th Valentine's Day if I am doing the math correctly. When I try to recall those past Valentine's Days, I really can't recall much. Rather, what comes to mind is all of the other days. The days when my wife would continually put my wants and needs ahead of hers. The countless times she gave up what she wanted for our children. 

She truly shows what it means to love in the way Jesus loves us. Now, understand, my wife is not Jesus, none of us are. We all still have our human side that we have to deal with everyday. not just our humanness but that same humanness in others.

When God came to Earth as Jesus Christ, he came as God and man. He had the capacity for love just as God does for he is God. He had to deal with all of us humans, with all of our shortcomings. How frustrating that must have been. 

When my wife and I got married we made vows to love each other with a Christ-like love until death do us part. It is a choice we both make everyday. To love each other in that way. Our human sides to get in the way, our hurts, disappointments, anxieties, and desires all pull us away from living that Christ-like love. But, I thank God for a good wife that continually strives to put aside those human things for the things of heaven. She is my inspiration for doing the same with with my selfish human side.

Dearest wife,

Thank you for being the best example of Christ's love here on Earth for me. I love you. 

Your loving husband, 

Rob

Running

I have an extremely strong dislike for running. Or at least I did. Something strange happened last June, I started running with my daughters who were training for a 5K. I was only doing it to help them out, or so I thought. I found myself strangely attracted to running. I started running as often as I could.

I would generally run in the 3 mile range. Then, I decided to start running longer distances. Once you get past the initial hump of running on a regular basis, you can generally add distance without too much issue.

I have worked my way up to longer and longer distances. This last weekend I ran 13.2 miles. When I started pushing for longer distances I realized that running farther was more of a mental discipline issue than a physical issue. Yes, your body aches but it is the discipline that will allow you to push through the discomfort and continue on. When I set my mind to the fact that I will run a certain distance the largest factor is my mental attitude. 

Running has given me a great opportunity to learn discipline. Discipline to keep going. Discipline to pace myself so I can get the distance I desire. Learning discipline in any activity is good. Successful discipline will help you anytime you start something new.

This can be done by anyone. Just start small and celebrate your successes.

Custodians

In my deacon class on Saturday, we learned a lot about the theology of ministry and orders and in specific the role of the deacon. Something caught my attention. It maybe just went by the others but in one document it said that the deacon is the presenter and custodian on the Eucharist. It is the word custodian that struck me. not so much at first but it kept coming back to me. What does that mean to be the custodian of the Eucharist?

I usually think of a custodian in context of school custodian. That is someone who cleans the school. Not all that glamorous. The dictionary defines custodian as: a person who has responsibility for or looks after something. Some synonyms for custodian are: keeper, protector, guardian and steward. Honestly, I like the synonyms better but perhaps custodian is the better word. For me, the word custodian implies a role requiring more humility and servitude. Perhaps that is why the word captivates me more. The role of a deacon will certainly require more humility and servant attitude from me.

When I stop to think of Eucharist as the body of Christ and then put with that the words; keeper, protector, guardian and steward, I understand the noble cause for which I may be appointed. 

The Knights of Columbus talk about knighthood in service to our King and the importance of constantly forming yourself in the faith. A knight was to always be ready to defend, protect and guard their king. How much more so for us as custodians on our Lord Jesus Christ.

I would be lying if I said I feel worthy of such responsibility. It is a great honor to even be considered for such an honor.

The other day we were having praise and worship at our church. After some praise and worship time, the Blessed Sacrament is exposed for adoration. Our deacon was unable to make it that night so I was asked to bring Jesus from the tabernacle to the monstrance. I said, yes but then immediately felt unworthy as I realized that I would be carrying Jesus in my hands. 

I prayed the whole time leading up the moment that I would be able to worthily present Jesus to all who were present. So, I left the youth room, called the Upper Room(because it is upstairs) to go the chapel to get Jesus from the tabernacle and carry him to the Upper Room. I was overcome with emotion as I realized the symbolism that these actions carried with them. I was carrying Jesus to the Upper Room. To say the least, it was a very moving experience.

Pilgrimage

I have had a book on my shelf for about a year now. It is called, "Hiking The Camino" by Father Dave Pivonka. He had come to our church to put on a mission. It was a wonderful time and I was drawn in by a few of the details he had given about his 500 mile walk on the Camino. 

I bought the book, got it autographed, took it home and there it sat for about a year now. Two days ago I suddenly had the urge to pick it up and start reading it. You know, I think God had me wait until this particular time to start this book. His timing is perfect! 

The book chronicles his pilgrimage walking across Spain to the burial place of St. James. I am just starting my journey in formation to the diaconate. While maybe not a pilgrimage in the strictest sense, I find myself meditating on the similarities between the two journeys. 

I am about halfway through the book and I find many of his insights beneficial and similar to my thoughts going into this formation process. Already, this first month has me doing something every Saturday. Fr. Dave's story reminds me of why I am doing this. I do it all for my king. It is for Jesus and my desire to move closer to his will that I do this.

The hectic first month of formation has me a bit frazzled and having a bit of a pity party. Thank you, Fr. Dave for reminding me that I have to let it go and focus on the reason that I am doing this.

This Is What You Must Do To Have An Effective Ministry

Romans 12:2 Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, so that you may judge what is God’s will, what is good, pleasing and perfect.

About a year ago I was praying one day and got a sentence pretty clear. 

This is what you must do to have an effective ministry.

 Being a fairly normal man, I blew it off. The next day I was praying again and same thing.

This is what you must do to have an effective ministry.

Now, it is curious. But still I kind of blow it off. Third day I decide to pray again.

This is what you must do to have an effective ministry.

Now, I think this is really cool. God's thinks I have a ministry. But what is that ministry? it doesn't really matter what it is just that fact that I have one is comforting. I guess we all have one but it is nice to hear.

But what is, this, that I must do? I spent a few day meditating and praying on this one. It dawned on me that I had been having a feeling that I needed to be forming myself more, I needed to be more knowledgeable of my faith. 

A few days later I found out that the time for applying to the diaconate was now. Well, that would certainly help me become more knowledgeable. And, I had considered becoming a deacon off and on for many years. So, the time seemed right, I applied, was accepted and have now started the formation process.

Please pray for me that I may know what is God's will for my life. I will also pray for you to know God's will in your lives.

We're Not In Kansas Anymore!

So, let's get the New Year reflection post out of the way.  Last year was a heck of a year, full of many twists and turns. It was definitely quite a tornado of events.

I submitted my application for the diaconate. It is a long and tedious process(probably needs to be that way). But I got through it all and have been accepted into the formation process. I know God's is walking with me on this one and I will be OK no matter what happens. I will have formation classes every other Saturday for the next 5 years or so. Pray for me.

I submitted myself to getting in shape. I started a plan to live healthier and lose weight in April. I started running in June. I have run a few races and plan to run a half marathon eventually. I have lost about 30 pounds and feel great expect for a few aches and pains resulting from old injuries. I am now lighter than I was in high school. Crazy!

I started a new job right before the end of the year and I love it. Truly believe that God brought me to this company at this time.

I became a grandfather(relatively young grandfather). Being a grandparent is probably one of the best things ever. I only wish I got to see him more. My grandson was born on Memorial Day. We all drove to Dallas that day to see him.