Fish Anyone?

In the previous post, I talked about the interview for the diaconate and it did go well. At least from my standpoint, it was a pleasant meeting. What I didn't talk about in that short update were events that led up to that interview. 

In the days that led up to the interview many thoughts had gone through my head. One of the interesting thoughts was a feeling of doubt and unworthiness. I remember thinking multiple times that all I would have to do is tank the interview and I can go on with my life the way it is. Easy enough right?

Well, my wife and I read the daily readings of the church everyday. The first 3 days of that week were readings from Jonah. The first day I thought it was funny. The second day it got my attention. The third day I said, "OK, God. I get it. I tank interview, I spend 3 days in belly of a whale". I always get just what I need, just when I need it. This happens so often that it shouldn't even really surprise me. 

I know that when I start moving in a direction that is contrary to God's will, he will put some signs out there to get us back on track and our lives will have a lot more peace. I have another great example of this that I will share at a later time.

Quick Update

Well, today was my interview for the diaconate. It was not scary at all. Pretty strange day though. I had to leave town right after the interview for work. I was asked to make an emergency trip to fill in for someone. 

Anyway, I met with 3 deacons for about an hour and a half. We had a great discussion. I was very peaceful throughout the whole thing. I know that whatever the outcome, Gods will be done.

More to come later.

Shame On Me

Let's face it, we all have things we are ashamed of. Hitting that girl on the playground that wouldn't play with you, stealing your brothers favorite pants, having too much to drink at a party. We all have these things in our past. Things we would just as soon forget. I have my share of them that is for sure. I won't go into them here because then this would be a novel instead of a blog. 

Sometimes, I really hate running into old friends from high school or college. You know those well meaning friends that only want to talk about those very moments that you are ashamed of in your life. Like, "Hey do you remember the time that you...". Of course, I stand there with a panicked look especially if my wife or kids are with me. Not cool, dude!!

But these times are a reality of my past. They are a part of who I am. I am a broken, sinful, forgiven, and redeemed child of God. I now have to live differently. I do struggle though when these stories are recalled and we have to deal with the feelings of shame all over again. It is in times like these, that I must turn again to the foot of the cross, to the Jesus who was broken and hung on a cross for me. It is only through the suffering and humiliation that Jesus endured that I have been redeemed.

I thank God for my shame moments. These have developed in me a great sense of empathy for others. In Romans 6:9-13 today it asks the question What did you gain from the things you are now ashamed of. Well for me, these things did not gain anything for me at the time they happened but they are now being used to bear fruit in the kingdom of God. At least, that is what I pray for.

Slaves

We are all slaves. We all submit ourselves to slavery or service to something or someone. We can be slaves of our jobs, our hobbies, our money or sinfulness. But we can also become slaves for Christ. That sounds kind of funny but becoming a willing slave for Christ frees us to live in his love as he is the perfect master who cares lovingly for us, his sheep, his flock.

I have been praying and thinking a lot about this, this week. You see my interview for the diaconate is coming up on Saturday and I have spending extra time in prayer asking God what his will for me is. This reflection time makes me look back at my life, the good and the bad. The times I am proud of and the times I would like to forget. This morning and I read and prayed over the reading from Romans 6:12-18, I saw myself and realize that I have given myself as a slave of Christ and I must now follow him. From Romans:

Brothers and sisters:Sin must not reign over your mortal bodies so that you obey their desires. And do not present the parts of your bodies to sin as weapons for wickedness, but present yourselves to God as raised from the dead to life and the parts of your bodies to God as weapons for righteousness. For sin is not to have any power over you, since you are not under the law but under grace.

What then? Shall we sin because we are not under the law but under grace? Of course not! Do you not know that if you present yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God that, although you were once slaves of sin, you have become obedient from the heart to the pattern of teaching to which you were entrusted. Freed from sin, you have become slaves of righteousness.

Then we come to the gospel where it talks about servants and how great it will be for the servants whom the master finds ready when he comes. I realize that I must always be ready. That I cannot give myself over to sinful ways and not be ready for the time when God calls me to himself and to his service. I pray that I will be ready for whatever God is calling me to and to help align myself with His Holy will.

Noise!!!!!

I was very fortunate to be able to go on retreat this weekend. I have been attending this annual men's retreat for over 20 years. Wow, that is a long time. While it is always good some are better than others. I was not expecting much this year. Probably because I really needed it.

The one thing I wanted during this retreat was quiet. To retreat from the world and spend alone time with God. The Holy Spirit was on the ball. As I sat there for the first talk our retreat leader talked about noise and all of the things in our lives that keep us from hearing God. The list is long; TV, radio, cell phones, computers. I mean, like how many of us are permanently attached to our smart phones?

The day before the retreat I got to go fishing at the coast. It was about a 4 hour drive and the 5 of us in the car talked a little bit but we all sat there with our iPhones busily looking up different information(the weather, sports scores, best route to take or playing games). In our world to day we have more information flow than ever. Sometimes this is good but it can often block the information that we really need. Information from God.

The retreat center has a great feature. No cell phone reception. It is a blissful oasis of quiet. Many of the retreat participants would walk around like Spock from Star Trek with his tricorder looking for a signal. 

I am back in the real world now. I pray that I can find the way to keep the noise out of my life and to hear that still soft voice of God. 

A Whale Of A Tale

The last couple of days we have been reading from Jonah. I also had been talking with the kids from my Sunday School class about Jonah. So, this theme seems to keep coming around. 

The short story is that God asks Jonah to do something difficult and Jonah really doesn't want to do it. He tries to run from God. God gets angry and the storms come and threaten the ship that Jonah is hiding aboard. Has this ever happened to you?

Have you ever felt the urging of the Holy Spirit but been afraid of that might mean and run from it? It has definitely happened to me. Usually, though, when we try to swim upstream the way becomes difficult. But the unknown of what will happen when we follow God scares us and so we happily struggle to move back to our comfort zone. 

Now, Jonah, does something at this point that is quite remarkable. He realizes why the storms are threatening the ship and he agrees to be thrown overboard as a sacrifice. He realizes that this is bigger than himself and offers himself up to save the others. We too must come to that point that we sacrifice our safe and comfort to submit to the plans that God has for us.

Jonah think that he will just die and that will be the end of it but God rescues him by using a large fish. He arrives eventually at Nineveh and  preaches the message that God had instructed him to do. Everyone in Nineveh was saved.

We may not know why but, when God calls us for his purpose, and we say, "Yes" amazing things happen. What is God calling you for today? It is a question we can ask everyday. 

Update On My Journey

For those of you that don't know, I submitted my application to the diaconate a few months ago. I get asked often how it is going. Well, The interview process has started. So, we will wait and see what is God's will for all of this. 

Interestingly, this discernment process has been quite a journey. At one point, I was told that the interviews had already happened (this later turned out to be untrue). But what this did for me, was give me a chance to pray and to detach my ownership of the process. I had started to get the feeling that it was mine to have. Especially with so many encouraging friends telling me how great they thought I would be as a deacon. 

Through prayer, I was able to come the realization that this call was God's and God's alone. I am now at peace with the whole thing wanting only God's will to be done. I will be satisfied no matter the answer. If this door closes, another will open. The one that was meant for me. 

So, in closing, I will ask for the prayers of all of you. That the Holy Spirit will guide all of the people involved in the discernment process, including myself.

Running

Who would have thought? Certainly not me. My favorite saying has always been that I would only run if someone was chasing me. I hate running. At least I always did.

Then something happened a number of months ago. I was about to become a Grandpa. Something I eagerly awaited. 

One day while discussing this impending arrival, a friend of mine asked me what kind of grandparent I wanted to be. The kind that does things for my grandchildren or the kind that does things with my grandchildren. It was a pretty easy choice.

My choice, however, required me to make some changes in my life. I was determined to lose some weight. I was up to 205 lbs and I was not happy with the way I looked or felt. I started watching what I ate with the aid of a great website,  MyFitnessPal. The pounds started coming off. I had a goal of 180 lbs. Didn't think I would really ever make it, but that is what goals are for.

After a couple of months of dropping some pounds, I went running a couple of times with some of my girls who were training for a 5K race. Suddenly, I was hooked on running. I run 4 days a week now about 5 miles at a time. I am planning to increase that and hope to complete a half marathon soon. 

One of the things I did not expect was the wonderful time of prayer running has become for me. I realize that weight loss, distance running, and my faith do not happen overnight but only by having a deliberate thought out training plan. Your relationship with Jesus does not just happen without some work, some training. 

People who are successful attain their goals through good habits and deliberate plans. What are your plans for your faith, health, life?

1 Cor. 9:24-27 - While all the runners in the stadium take part in the race, the award goes to one man. In that case, run so as to win! Athletes deny themselves all sorts of things. They do this to win a crown of leaves that withers, but we a crown that is imperishable. I do not run like a man who loses sight of the finish line. I do not fight as if I were shadowboxing. What I do is discipline my own body and master it, for fear that after having preached to others I my should be rejected.

The reason I run: 

Do You Have Faith?

 We had a one night mission last night. The speaker spoke of faith and what it means to have faith.

Do we have faith?

Most people when asked if they have faith will start spouting off all of the activities and programs they are involved in for God. I often fall into the same category. There are many out there who do a great many things for God. But often their faith is lacking. And maybe not lacking really but certainly put on the shelf for a while. We get caught up in doing and forget about being.

Faith must come from in intimate relationship with God. This relationship takes time. Not time doing for God but rather time being with God. All relationships take time and effort. 

Why do we think that our relationship with God would be any different?

Faith comes from absolutely trusting that everything that Jesus said and did is true. It is a trust that goes beyond the academic to the heart. 

As we knelt in adoration last night, I had a vision of Jesus there in our church with all of the many people sitting around. There were a lot of people there but in my vision, Jesus kept looking over at me from across the room and smiling. That smile that says I notice you and I love you. I can't wait to come over to you. 

I knew that he wanted to be close to me, an unworthy sinner. But that is what Jesus does, isn't it.

Jesus wants to be close to you also. Open the door and let him in.

Get Holy or Die Tryin'

A good friend of mine, on a recent trip, saw a tie that had the words on it, "Get Holy or Die Tryin'". This was surrounded by the names of all the martyr's who had died for the faith.

He said he saw the tie and thought of me. While I appreciate it and think the tie is very cool, does he think I am destined to become a martyr? I haven't had a chance to ask him that question yet.

Maybe this is a questioned I should be asking Jesus, instead. Maybe this is a question I should be asking myself.

This tie has given me cause to reflect on all the martyrs throughout the ages and to contemplate on what it means to be a martyr.

What does it mean to die for one's faith?

Does martyrdom necessarily mean physical death?

Am I willing to die for my faith?

Am I willing to be different, to do the things that are counter-culture?

• Living within my means
• Having more than 2.3 children
• Homeschooling
• Affirming a culture of life
• Say no to material 'rights'
• Not working on Sundays to keep the sabbath

We can all make our own list of what it means to be counter-culture. Will we be thought of as weird and out of touch with reality? Sure, but it is only a temporal thing, a tiny blip in our eternal life. We are setting the foundation for our eternal life. Let's be willing to do the things now, that may cause us to die to self. To let the old self die away and to be transformed into the new person in Christ. We are crucified with Christ. We die to our old sinful selves and are made anew.

It's Summer and it is HOT!

This summer has been hot and quite eventful. 

1. First grandchild was born, a boy
2. 3rd daughter graduated from high school
3. 3rd daughter already away for summer school(scholarship)
4. Will have 2 in college again in the fall.
5. Wife decided it was time to leave her job
6. Decided to start home schooling
7. Car got broken into
8. Waiting to see what will come of application to diaconate
9. started running(I have lost 26 lbs so far and run over 280 km)

As you can see there have been a lot of life changes this summer. Any of them singly are pretty easy to handle. Together they have been a bit overwhelming. Except for the car getting broken into, these are all pretty exciting things. 

Why is it that most things that are exciting are also full of uncertainty and anxiety? Is this what makes them exciting? 

Most of my anxiety comes from the change in our financial situation. Not really sure why this worries me. God, has always taken care of me. Every single time. I am reminded of the wedding feast at Cana. Jesus was asked to help with a little wine. But no, not just a little would he make, but he made a lot of really good wine. God will not be outdone in his generosity.

During these times in my life, when I feel anxious, I need to stop, look back and recall all of the times God has showered his grace upon me. Not just a little sprinkle but a heavenly downpour.

The Samaritan and Me

I am quite the skeptic. I know. Hard to believe, right? 

Well, this last Thursday I was out walking in the Target parking lot. A bit earlier than I normally go out but it has been hot. As I am walking, I notice a man walking toward me. Like, literally, toward me. My first thought is, oh great a beggar this early in the morning.

But I had been praying and so I did not run away. I was like, "Really, God, a test this early in the morning?". And, yes, I was right it was someone asking for money. I listened to his story using my full powers of skepticism. The story seemed at lest in the realm of possibility. Now, I generally don't carry cash but this day I had a couple of dollars and I felt the urge(Holy Spirit) move me to let it go and give the money to the man. As I turned to walk away, I got the Holy Spirit tug again. I turned the the man and asked if I could pray with him before he left. We prayed together and off he went.

Suddenly, I realized that it didn't matter whether or not the man's story was true. What really mattered was the condition of my heart. Jesus did not qualify people before he helped them and neither should I. Christ's love is not conditional and mine should not be either.

The gospel reading this past Sunday was that of the Good Samaritan. He did not ask the victim if he had done something to deserve it. He was just moved and had pity on the person. I listened to this reading and smiled as I recalled the events of a couple days earlier. Am I a good Samaritan? Don't know about that I am but I am working on it.

Charity Starts At Home

If you are anything like wife and I, you are routinely asked to give to one cause or another. This can often be overwhelming. I often wonder, just how much more can I give? These causes are important but I wonder if we are missing the point sometimes. Is it right to give to these causes and at the same time make our children take out loans to go to college?

These many causes often have lots of trained people trying to convince you that their cause is the most important. We should support some of these. But what about the least of my children?

Jesus in the gospels tells us to clothe the naked and feed the hungry. My wife is helping with vacation bible school this week. One woman came with a large number of children. Their clothes were ragged and worn. Moved to action, my wife came home and went on hunt to help provide this woman some clothes for her children. All of the closets were cleaned out. If we didn't have a size that she needed, she contacted friends that might.

This is what I feel it is really all about. Seeing a need and meeting it without being asked. The woman did not ask for anything but my wife saw a need and was moved to help meet it.

Jesus is the same way. Sometimes we don't see our need or are too embarrassed to ask for help, but Jesus knows what we need and He will provide at the appropriate time. 

Luke, It is your destiny

While we don't all have a Sith lord as our farther, we do all have a destiny. We will all be held accountable, one day, for our actions and words.

Always speak and act as men destined for judgement under the law of freedom. Merciless is the judgment on the man who has not shown mercy; but mercy triumphs over judgment. James 2:12-13

My wife has told me, and it is true, that I often speak before thinking. This gets me into trouble at times. There are times when I speak out of anger or hurt not thinking about what kind of damage I might inflict on others along the way. This happened again yesterday. I could come up with all kinds of excuses for my behavior but the bottom line is that I am an adult and I must take responsibility for my actions and words.

The other half of this comes just as hard. Do I show mercy for others who may be having a rough day just like me? Do I forgive others easily or do I hold onto hurts, real or imagined? 

While I am getting better, sadly the answer is no to both of these questions. Because of our sinful nature we will all struggle with these things. What am I doing to get better?

1. Pray
2. Scripture(read and prayed over daily)
3. Pray
4. Practice patience
5. Pray

We live in a world where we are told to demand our rights. To never back down. To go for the kill. The world may look at me as weak for being merciful but Christ demands something greater of me. 

I keep praying that I will be able to show mercy in everything I do and with everyone I meet.

Time To Open The Gifts

1 Peter 4:8-11a - As generous distributors of God’s manifold grace, put your gifts at the service of one another, each in the measure he has received. The one who speaks is to deliver God’s message. The one who serves is to do it with the strength provided by God. Thus, in all of you God is to be glorified through Jesus Christ.

Time to open the gifts!

I have 6 children so you can imagine how many times I have heard this. In the above reading from 1 Peter, this is what I believe God is calling us to do, to open our gifts. As Christians, we have been reborn. We have been given great gifts from God through Jesus Christ. Sadly, most people just take those gifts, say thank you, and put them up on a shelf.

We met with a group of ministry leaders from our church last night. It was a great spirit filled time where we prayed, read scripture and discussed our various ministries. At the heart of it all is the call to put our gifts to use to bring God's message to all the people.

I was touched as I reflected on my service in the church(and outside). I have been given many gifts and I am called to use them for the glory of God. I am a distributor of God's grace. I must speak with words and actions in delivering God's message.

We were having a tense time at work a couple of days ago. I was prompted by the Holy Spirit to stop what we were doing to pray. I knew that the only way I was going to be able to calm the situation was through prayer. It worked! 

Time to open the gifts!

Chivalry

It has been a while. I guess I went into a writing black hole. However, this thought just came to me very strongly with a desire to write about it. 

I have 5 daughters of various ages and they are all my biological children. Anyway, I was thinking over incidents of the past few months. Some of them have stuck in my mind and it isn't very pleasant. 

Am I willing to stand up for my daughters? Am I willing to protect there purity? Am I willing to do what it takes to protect them from today's society?

I think it would be easier if we had dragons. It would be a lot easier to know who and when to fight. As a Christian father, I have to be willing to fight for my daughters. If I don't, who will? 

It would be easy for me to sit here and say that sure I will fight for my daughters. Really? Let's look at the evidence. 

Do we limit what they can watch on TV? Are we willing to be disliked for not letting them watch what the other kids are watching?

Do we scrutinize friends? Especially boys?

Do we set guidelines on what they can wear? Do we keep their dress modest? (It's one thing when they are 5 but try when they are 13+). 

Our daughters need their Dads to step it up and be the type of person we want them to marry some day. They desire time and attention from us. We have to make time for them. It is pretty easy for me to write this because I fail at all of these form time to time. Now, for a few last questions.

Do I limit what I watch on TV or listen to on the radio?

How do I treat women?

How do I treat their mother?(even if divorced)

If I tell my daughters to dress modestly but then ogle every scantily dressed woman I see then I am sending mixed signals. If I want my daughters to remain pure, I must remain pure.

I was approached some time ago about putting on a Father-Daughter retreat. I think this should be a topic of one of  my talks. What do you think?

Remember to Share - Not Just for Kindergarten

Galatians 6:6 - One who is being instructed in the word should share all good things with his instructor. 

This is something that has really spoken to me recently. However, I only read this verse today. It solidifies my thoughts and desires on the subject. It is important that we share the good things that are happening in our walk with Christ, especially with our instructors that they might be built up also and persevere in their teaching ministry. 

We, as the community of believers, have a duty to share the good news with each other. Personally, I am built up when people tell me what God is doing in their lives. I receive the confidence and boldness to proclaim the gospel to those who are hurting and lost. One person sharing the good news may seem like a drop in the bucket or like a small candle lighting up a dark night. But when we join our ‘light’ with the ‘light’ of others we are a great shining light for all to see. 

When I meet someone and they ask how I am doing, I tell them I am ‘fantastic’. It is amazing how many people ask me, why. Then I tell them. I proclaim the healing power of Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit at work in the hearts of believers. I start each day now with eager anticipation of who God might put in my path. Does it happen every day? No, but you would be surprised on just how often it does. 

So, go out there and let your light shine.

Let's Go Fly A Kite

I took my 2 youngest kids to fly kites yesterday. On the way we talked about the 2 different kites that we had and wondered which one would fly better. We had a lot of theories but knew we would have to wait to see which would prevail.

We got out to the nice large field and up the kites went. Both flew pretty well but the kids got a little bored. I suggested we take off a piece of the tail. 

Up the kites went again. This time we noticed that we were able to perform more tricks, doing loops and steering back and forth. 

So, my son, not getting quite the results of his sister, decided to shorten his tail even more. Up the kite went. But with the shorter tail he lost control and the kite kept crashing. He came to me in frustration and I suggested tying a piece of the tail back on. Success!

On the way home, we pondered how our Christian life could be compared to that kite. We are the kite and the tail is our spiritual life. Devotions; scripture, prayer, and service are our tail. I think sometimes we get so caught up in our devotions that we fail to answer God's call to action. If we are trying to act in our world without enough devotion we flail and crash like a kite without enough tail. 

However, if we get the right balance, we can achieve amazing things for Christ. It is all about balance and not being afraid to soar.

Whirled Peas

World peace would be nice but I would settle for a little peace in my house, myself!

I woke up this morning and quickly moved into panic mode. You see the last few days I have been running late getting to work. Not real late, but being even a few seconds late really gnaws at me. My list of, to-do's, was long. Longer than I could keep track of. Of course writing them down would probably help, but that is for another article.

Praise God that I have a lovely wife who prayed for me to have some peace and relief from my stress. Then I sat down to read the Gospel from today's readings.

John 14:27 - Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.

Jesus promised us His peace. A peace that is so complete that it surpasses all that we have ever known. He gives it without strings or conditions. We don't have to earn it and He will never take it back. So, what happens then?

We give it back!

We give all of our troubles and anxieties to God and he gives us peace. Then we look over at them laying at the foot of his cross and we take them back. Kind of like taking that favorite t-shirt out of the recycle while your wife is not watching. Or when my son sneaks his favorite shirt out of the dirt clothes to wear again for the 4th day in a row. 

We know it is time to give these things away for good. It is time to have our souls washed clean in the blood of the lamb.

Now is the time. Accept the peace offered to you by Jesus.

Spiritual Diet

So, I am on a diet. According the BMI charts, I need to take off about 30 pounds. I am looking for a happy medium.

For this week, I have started tracking everything I eat. My calorie count has been good but I noticed that my sugar intake is off the wall. Then I realized that I had been real grumpy that day and a bit anxious. I made the connection between the amount of sugar and my mood.

This got me to thinking about how important it is to watch what I am putting into my body as it has great consequences. I may be losing weight but the side affects are not desirable. So, now this got me to thinking about my spiritual diet. Sometimes, I notice that my prayer is great but my scripture study is non-existent. Not a recipe for a healthy spiritual life.

At different times, you may crave different things. That's OK. Be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and where he may be guiding your spiritual life.

When we eat too much, we feel lethargic. The same thing can happen in our spiritual life. When we have too many devotions, we can become lethargic in our spiritual life. The very things that we want to feed our spiritual life are what is dragging us down.

What are the spiritual sugars that I am putting into myself? Are these affecting me in a good or bad way? Do I have a healthy, balanced spiritual diet? Am I covering all of the food groups; prayer, sacraments, service,  and scripture?

Bottom line, we need to keep our spiritual life balanced and our physical life. Let's pay attention to our diets, physical and spiritual.

They Will Pick Up Serpents

On Thursday, I realized that I had been in a bit of a funk. I had not written anything in my blog for about a week and so I proudly said to my wife that I would blog about whatever the readings were that day. 

Then I read the readings. Maybe I should have looked at the readings first, but they were just what I needed to hear and more I have been contemplating on them for a couple days now.

1 Peter 5:6-7 So humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time. Cast all your worries upon him because he cares for you.

I think sometimes I am able to cast all my worries on him. But then, I guess I must like my worries because I take them back. The problem I have with worry and anxiety is that they can become self-fulfilling. I am anxious or worried because I may not be good enough. Intellectually, I know this is not the case but still the worry exists. So, then if I sin, I prove that I am not good enough and my worries are justified.

Now that is pretty dumb. And yet we do it. (I am sure I am not the only one).

Why do others seem to have a much higher opinion of what I can do than I do. I mean like my boss seems to think I can work miracles. This makes me feel good and scared at the same time because there is an expectation out there. How can I ever measure up?

Mark 16:17-18 These signs will accompany those who believe: in my name they will drive out demons, they will speak new languages. They will pick up serpents with their hands, and if they drink any deadly thing, it will not harm them. They will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.

 No pressure here, right? Jesus is telling them they will work miracles, literally. Jesus is calling all of us to work miracles. He has a high opinion of us. He is like a father encouraging his son or daughter to take the training wheels off. 

What are our training wheels? What is keeping us from working the miracles that God has given us the ability to work in His name? How do we get over not feeling worthy?



Cast all your worries upon him because he cares for you.

Where Did You Go?

I haven't written in a while. I think it was probably because I have been caught up in the busy-ness of life. Along with that comes worry and anxiety. I was talking with 2 different people yesterday that both told me how much more calm and peaceful I have been. Now, I am thinking to myself, "Ya right!" 

Through the grace of God, I had been set free from all of my worry and anxiety. It was a great comfort to feel the closeness and presence of God. It gave me a secure, comfortable feeling like I have never known. I am like a 2 year old. I feel safe and secure as long as I am close to my parent. But as soon as I get out of sight of my mom or dad, I panic. Now, my mom or dad can still see me but I suddenly don't feel the presence any more and I panic.

It is the same with God. When I move away from the presence of God in my life, I start to feel scared and anxious. Good news! I realized this was happening a couple of days ago and I started taking steps to move back closer to God. I dedicated more time to prayer, scripture and putting myself in the presence of God.

What do I mean, "in the presence of God"? Well, if I am going to be in the presence of God, I should think of Him often and seek His counsel. My every thought and action of every day should include my risen Lord.

What do you do when you are anxious or worried?

What a Pity

From "The Practice of the Presence of God":

He often points out our blindness and exclaims that those who content themselves with so little are to be pitied. God, says he, has infinite treasure to bestow, and we take so little through routine devotion which lasts but a moment. Blind as we are, we hinder God, and stop the current of His graces.

I don't even want to think of how often I limit God and what He wants to do in my life. His grace is ever flowing yet we want to put him up on a shelf and then pull him down at prayer or bible study time. Just think, I could be filled with his grace all the time if I would just put myself to the practice of it. 

Brother Lawrence, who wrote most of the content for the book, had a simple practice of always putting himself in the presence of God. I am working toward this.

What keeps you from receiving the grace of God always? Why should we do this? Read the next couple of sentences:

But when He finds a soul penetrated with a lively faith, He pours into it His graces  and favors plentifully. There they flow like a torrent, which, after being forcibly stopped against its ordinary course, when it has found a passage, spreads itself with impetuosity and abundance.

You can find the book here: The Practice of the Presence of God

Explosion in West, TX

Big news of the day has been the explosion at a fertilizer plant in the town of West, TX. I live about an hour away from there, so it hits pretty close to home. This has left me a bit unsettled. I have been praying for the people in that small Texas town. I have also been thinking about what has left me unsettled.

My thoughts turned to the people of that town. I don't know any of them well. However, I do know people that live there and people from there who still have relatives there. 

In an earlier post, I had mentioned that I had attended the ordination of 11 new deacons in our diocese. The diocese extends as far north as West. One of the new deacons is from West, TX. I remember seeing him that day. He was smiling and full of life. He was one of the most joyful people I had seen in a long time.

My thoughts turn to him, in the first week of his diaconal ministry having to minister to the family's devastated by the explosion. I bet he never imagined that he would have to do this type of ministry so soon. I pray especially for him to have the grace to respond to the victims with the love of Christ.

It also made me realize even more importantly the role I seek to undertake. Jesus, I want to serve you. Do with me what you will because I know that you will not make me go alone.

What are your circumstances?

1 Phil 4:10-19 - Brothers and sisters: I rejoice greatly in the Lord that now at last you revived your concern for me. You were, of course, concerned about me but lacked an opportunity. Not that I say this because of need, for I have learned, in whatever situation I find myself, to be self-sufficient. I know indeed how to live in humble circumstances; I know also how to live with abundance. In every circumstance and in all things I have learned the secret of being well fed and of going hungry, of living in abundance and of being in need. I have the strength for everything through him who empowers me. Still, it was kind of you to share in my distress.

You Philippians indeed know that at the beginning of the Gospel, when I left Macedonia,
not a single church shared with me in an account of giving and receiving, except you alone. For even when I was at Thessalonica you sent me something for my needs, not only once but more than once. It is not that I am eager for the gift; rather, I am eager for the profit that accrues to your account. I have received full payment and I abound.

I am very well supplied because of what I received from you through Epaphroditus,
"a fragrant aroma," an acceptable sacrifice, pleasing to God. My God will fully supply whatever you need, in accord with his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. 

Thoughts: This is something I have thought about for years. Namely, that I need to approach life with humility, allowing people to care for me. For in allowing others to care and do for me, I give them the opportunity to be strengthened through serving others. 

For example, some friends serve food for others on Wednesday nights at the church. Can I make food myself? Yes, I am fully able to take care of myself, but allowing myself to be taken care of by others gives them the opportunity to build up their spiritual strength. St. Paul also writes about humbly and joyfully living within your circumstances. 

There will be times that you live in abundance. These are the times when everything seems to be going right. We are to rejoice in those times and be glad. Too often, I want to be ashamed and I feel guilty when things are going good. Like I don't deserve it because everyone around me is not in the same state.

At other times, you may be experiencing hardship; again we are to rejoice that God is with us at these times also. It is how we react at these times that give true witness to the life of Christ in us. However, this does not mean that I need to assume others hardships. I can be helpful and supportive but others crosses have been given to them to carry. We each must carry our own cross. The one that was given to us to carry.

Question: How do you deal with abundance? hardship?

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

1 Peter 5:6-7 - So humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time. Cast all your worries upon him because he cares for you. 

Thoughts: On September 8th, my worries were truly laid at the feet of God and I was washed clean in the waters of baptism. It was truly a baptism of the Holy Spirit. 

I was a master at worrying. I still have occasional worries as I still live in this world. My worries will not ever be gone until I sit in heaven at the feet of Jesus. 

Through the practice of frequent prayer, constantly laying my worries at the feet of Jesus in humble submission to the will of God I  feel the love that comes from a close, personal relationship with Christ. I now fill the empty spot, where I used to keep my worries, with the word of God.

Once I was able to truly lay all my worries at the foot of the cross and submit myself humbly in prayer to Him, He started using me in awe inspiring ways to share the message to anyone I might have the opportunity to. This call to humble service feeds my soul in so many ways. It may be a bit bold but I feel a real connection to Pope Francis and desire to follow the loving example he is giving us.

You Smell Like a Sheep

Pope Francis was addressing priests working here in Rome, telling them that a good priest must have the smell of the sheep to whom he is belonging.

The above excerpt is from Vatican Radio website: Pope Francis talks about communication.

What great imagery. God gave us a great sense of smell and much can be determined from what we smell. In order to smell like someone you would have to spend a lot of time around that person. A simple but effective message. 

So, what do I smell like/want to smell like? My Christian faith calls me to service. This might mean that I don't always smell as good as I want to but I am excited that God would actually call me and trust me to do something grater with my life. May I always be in tune to smell my sheep.

It's A Brand New Day

It's a brand new day!

Our prayer group met again last night. After praising God with amazing music, we listened to an inspired talk on how to live a Christian, spirit-filled life. 

As a small group leader, I was prepared to lead discussion with a small group of attendees. However, there were some people who had not had the chance to be prayed over the previous week. We asked them if they would like to be prayed over. They said yes. Then I was asked to be one of the people to do the praying. 

In my previous post I talked about the challenges that I had last week praying over people. But I knew that this was something I must do. 

The power of Jesus is amazing! My sense was 180 degrees this time. I felt very close to the Lord. I received words or images for everyone we prayed over. I thank the Lord. 

I guess the bottom line is that you won't think you hit a home run every time but we have to keep swinging.

Gluttony

I live life to the fullest. Because of this, I have a tendency to go a bit overboard at times. Often times my saying is; "Any thing worth doing is worth over doing"

Ever have that happen?

This can be more than just food. A new interest comes and suddenly it consumes you. This can even include your religious life. We get so into different devotions that we ignore friends and family. 

My issue right now, though, is good old food.  I have assumed the role of family garbage disposal. I  spend each evening cleaning up the leftovers. My wife and children like to make deserts and I am always willing to help eat them. Easter has just come and gone. I am busy getting rid of all the candy so my children won't eat it. I don't even like candy!

Fasting is sound from a biblical standpoint. My wife and I both see the benefits of fasting. My gluttony is a bad habit. I pray for the strength to practice self control in my eating and other areas of my life. For now, I am looking to lose 10 to 20 pounds. I also pray for God's blessing from this practice of self control. 

On a Trek

Just recently my son asked me what a trek was. I explained it is a journey with purpose. I guess I am on trek. My trek is a journey of faith. I think, that like most treks, mine has been one of  varied emotions. Sometimes, I am excited, scared, sad, content, joyful, happy, frustrated, or melancholy. I think these are normal.

The last few weeks have been interesting. We have been having a Life In The Spirit seminar at church during lent, and it is still going on. I am part of the team putting it on. This is a joyful thing for me, mostly. This last Monday, the Monday after Easter was our fifth meeting. At this meeting, we were supposed to pray over anyone that wanted for a greater release of the Holy Spirit in their lives. 

When I got there, it was explained that we would be praying over people while sitting in chairs. I prefer to have people prayed over standing up. So, I was a bit bummed but willing to go along with the group leaders. You see, I had my vision of how things were supposed to go but I still was not 'happy' about  it. Then, as we were sitting there at the start of the meeting, I realized I was putting limitations on God. In my mind, He would not be able to work miracles unless we did it my way. Pretty arrogant, right? Yeah, I thought so too.

Needless to say, it was a wonderful night for most people,and I know many hearts were changed and people were healed. I still had a letdown experience. I got done and just didn't feel good. In my mind, I had been just a noisy gong. My prayer partner did wonderfully, and I have confidence in God's power but I did not live up to my expectations. Do you ever have that feeling? Sometimes, I think my expectations are much higher than God's or at least the expectations are different.

Thankfully, I did not wallow in this feeling. On Wednesday, we had adoration time in front of the blessed sacrament. I felt very close to the Lord, and he gave me consolation. Then on Friday, I had a meeting with my spiritual director and shared much of this with him. Having this spiritual mentor is just fabulous for keeping oneself grounded.  

Remember, that while the destination is important, equally so is the journey.

Have Fun, But Don't Get Caught

Philippians 2:12-18 - My beloved, obedient as you have always been, not only when I am present but all the more now when I am absent, work out your salvation with fear and trembling. For God is the one who, for his good purpose, works in you both to desire and to work. Do everything without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine like lights in the world, as you hold on to the work of life, so that my boast for the day of Christ may be that I did not run in vain or labor in vain. But, even if I am poured out as a libation upon the sacrificial service of your faith, I rejoice and share my joy with all of you. In the same way you also should rejoice and share your joy with me. 

Thoughts: Paul speaks to the Philippians with apparent joy as he is finding them prospering in the faith. A True sign of faith and obedience is when one is obedient when no one is around to catch them. How often I used to fall into sin when no one was around, when no one could catch me. I deceived myself into believing that it was OK because no one knew about my sinfulness. But God who knows all always knew and always called me back. 

I was really good at hiding my sinfulness. I lived in a world of shame and guilt. But God is good and persistent. Christ now works in me, giving both the desire and call to serve Him. If the grace of God can work in someone like me then he can also work mighty deeds in you. 

I now find myself, not only with the ability but also the desire to do the work of God for His glory. The world we live in is one full of grumblers and complainers. It is so pervasive in our world that we now consider it normal. But God calls to us to be of the eternal not the earthly. In the heavenly kingdom there is no need to complain or grumble and we are called to bring a view of heaven to earth through our lives, living in the joy that can only come from our relationship with our Creator. 

If God is so concerned with our joy that He would go to great lengths to offer it to us then we have an obligation to share that joy with all that we come in contact with. Paul in the end of the reading above reiterates that fact in his statement that we are to share our joy and triumphs in Christ with all both the downfallen and our fellow followers that we can all be strengthened by each other.

Dead, Gone, and Buried

It really hit me this year. Jesus was dead, gone and buried. He was in the tomb. His friends were mourning. 

As Christians, we often seem to overlook that point. I know it has gone mostly unnoticed over the years. We have the benefit of hindsight. We already know how the story is going to end. But I think we need the mourning times in our lives. It is those times of mourning that give us time to slow down and to look at our lives. 

I went to pray a rosary yesterday and I started the Joyful mysteries. but it didn't feel right, I was mourning. So, I start where the Spirit led:

First mystery:
Mary went to the tomb and the angel announces that Jesus is alive and she sees him. 

Second mystery:
Mary bring some of the disciples to visit Jesus in the tomb.

Third mystery:
Jesus appears to the apostles in the upper room.

Fourth mystery:
The Holy Spirit descends and the apostles are baptized in the Holy Spirit.

Fifth mystery:
The disciples are sent out to make disciples of all nations.

It was very cool since we were meeting last night in the Upper Room at our church to pray for the Holy Spirit to come more fully into our lives.

God is good!

I Want You To Want Me

Being wanted is a pretty base desire in all of us. We all feel the need to be wanted. 

My children, for example, will come to me and say, "I am hungry". I will say, "OK". And then, they just kind of stare at me. Why can't they come up and say, "Dad, may I have something to eat?" They might be truly hungry but maybe they are just not feeling loved. What they want is for me to anticipate their needs and offer them food. That in their mind is the proof that I love them. Mind you, it is not just my kids that do this. 

We all do this from time to time. When someone else does not anticipate our needs, we may get angry that the other person does not notice. We may try to then guilt someone into wanting to help us. This kind of over-powers us to the point that we are unable to see that need in others. 

God anticipates our needs, he really knows what we truly need. Even with God, though, we usually have to ask. We have to humble ourselves to admit that we need help. When I come humbly to God or our fellow man and ask for help, I generally get help. Quite amazing, right? Maybe with our fellow man but not with God. 

I pray that this Easter we will see the hurt and need in others and offer our help. I also pray that we will have the courage to humble ourselves and ask Jesus to give us what we truly need.

The Spirit is Moving

God is moving in the lives of me an my family. We feel called to a simpler life. My wife will not be going back to her job as a teacher the next school year. I am waiting to hear about my acceptance into the diaconate. Work is crazy busy. We are feeling a call to homeschooling for our 2 youngest. We have another daughter graduating from high school and getting ready to head off to college. And the list goes on...

In the interest of keeping this post short, I will stop with just the short list. I expect most of us have a similar list. 

I am very task oriented. I want to check things off of my list. But God calls me to do but one thing. Sit at the feet of Jesus like Mary. I used to think my wife was the Martha and I was the Mary but I think we are both Marthas. 

Luke 10:38-42
Now as they were traveling along, He entered a village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. She had a sister called Mary, who was seated at the Lord’s feet, listening to His word. But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.” But the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.

Get Over Yourself

Normally, we would consider abandonment a bad thing. We often hear of the young, the old or the sick being abandoned. Even Jesus felt abandoned as he faced crucifixion. Sometimes, we feel abandoned by our friends, co-workers or family members. I have had times where I felt I had no one to turn to, that no one cared about me. 

I have also had many times when we felt that many people went out of there way to help me and be there for me. Just last week when I was feeling kind of low and attacked by the devil, some friends noticed and immediately wanted to pray over me. Usually, it is not that people don't care, it is just that most of them are so busy carrying their own crosses that they are unable to realize what is going on around them. 

My challenge for myself is to be extra sensitive to noticing the crosses of others and to be ready to be their Simon. Chances are my cross will shrink away in nearly nothing when I do this. I have found the prayer below to be a great way to help me to focus on the others and the mission of Jesus Christ.

Prayer of Abandonment

Father,
I abandon myself into your hands; do with me what you will.
Whatever you may do, I thank you:
I am ready for all, I accept all.
Let only your will be done in me, and in all your creatures.
I wish no more than this, O Lord.

Into your hands I commend my soul;
I offer it to you
with all the love of my heart,
for I love you, Lord,
and so need to give myself,
to surrender myself into your hands,
without reserve,
and with boundless confidence,
for you are my Father.

Charles de Foucald

A Bruised Reed

Isaiah 42:1-4 - Here is my servant whom I uphold, my chosen one with whom I am pleased. Upon whom I have put my Spirit; he shall bring forth justice to the nations, Not crying out, not shouting, not making his voice heard in the street. A bruised reed he shall not break, and a smoldering wick he shall not quench, until he establishes justice on the earth; the coastlands will wait for his teaching.

Thoughts: OK, so I admit it, I am a huge Pope Francis fan. When I read this passage this morning, my first thought was of Francis, our new Pope. His humble actions speak volumes. I saw a photo yesterday of Francis giving a homily. As I looked the photo, he was just radiating joy, it was a smile that drew me in and made we want to be around and to listen. I can imagine  Jesus just the same way. Drawing us all in.

The reading from Isaiah this morning predict the coming of Jesus and describe what his coming would be like. 

When we think of someone coming to bring justice, we often think of punishment for those doing wrong but not so with new savior. The people of Jesus' time thought the messiah would be a might king, a conqueror, a ruler. What we got was a gentle redeemer, a forgiver, a healer. 

We are the bruised reeds of this world, weak and sinful at least cracked if not completely broken. Jesus comes to mend the brokenness in our lives not to destroy or punish. For many Christians even, the light of Christ does not burn brightly but only flickers or smolders. People of this world would say just put it out, it does not give much light anyway. But, Jesus will fan and nurture that flame until it burns brightly once again. No flame is too small for God to revive. 

As we move through Holy Week, let us help mend the bruised reeds all around us and be the instrument to Jesus can use to fan the flame in each other.

Are We Trying To Kill God?

John 8:37 - I know that you are descendants of Abraham. But you are trying to kill me, because my work has no room among you.

Thoughts: As my wife and I read the gospel this morning, this verse stuck out for me. So, I asked my wife, how often do we try to kill God in our everyday life? We both just sat there in meditation. 

The Jews were trying to physically kill Jesus because they found his words hard to accept. They thought he was being unreasonable. He was raising the standard and they didn't like it. Who, of us, likes to be told we are not measuring up? 

While we don't have Jesus physically with us today, we do have the promised Holy Spirit here with us. How often do we try to kill the Spirit of God?

• Do we fail to help someone in need?
• Do we attack others with our words?
• Are we jealous of others?
• Do we fill our minds(and souls) with stuff and push God out?
• Do we have other God's in our life(money, power, work).

I am guilty of most of these so making the list was pretty easy. 

Let's make this final part of Lent a move closer to the sacred heart of Jesus. As part of our Lenten examination of conscience, if you can think of other ways we try to kill God, please comment here so all can benefit.

The Yoke Of Slavery

Galatians 5:1-6 - For freedom Christ set us free; so stand firm and do not submit again to the yoke of slavery.

It is I, Paul, who am telling you that if you have yourselves circumcised, Christ will be of no benefit to you. Once again I declare to every man who has himself circumcised that he is bound to observe the entire law. You are separated from Christ, you who are trying to be satisfied by law; you have fallen from grace. For through the Spirit, by faith, we await the hop of righteousness. For in Christ Jesus, neither circumcision not uncircumcision counts for anything, but only faith working through love. 

Thoughts: Babies often cry when they are in a large open area. After spending 9 months in the comfortable confines of the womb, they feel scared and alone when in an open area. In other words they have too much freedom. 

One way that we used to comfort our young children, and even our older children at times, was to hold them close. When babies can feel warmth and closeness from a parent, they sense the presence of them and feel comforted. We would wrap up our children in blankets and put them in a tiny bassinet at first then move up to a crib and finally to a bed. If we put them into a bed too early they felt insecure and would cry. It is the boundaries and closeness that gives them the freedom to feel comfortable and secure. 

Those boundaries move outward as they grow older but they are still there and are still viable. When we stay in close communion with God, we will feel His love and then we will feel the freedom of knowing that we walk with God. 

Paul was writing to the Galatians because they were being led away from God when they were told they had to obey the mosaic law. They were allowing the customs become more important than the message of Jesus. 

How often do we do the same? 

We let the things of this world become more important than our faith. It can be television or drinking. It can even be something that seems good; a church committee or organization, daily devotions like mass or the rosary. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the act of doing these things and not resting in the love of Christ which should drive all of our desires. 

So, let’s walk within the boundaries of God’s love and let that love be the driving force behind our actions as faithful disciples of Christ.