Quick Update

Well, today was my interview for the diaconate. It was not scary at all. Pretty strange day though. I had to leave town right after the interview for work. I was asked to make an emergency trip to fill in for someone. 

Anyway, I met with 3 deacons for about an hour and a half. We had a great discussion. I was very peaceful throughout the whole thing. I know that whatever the outcome, Gods will be done.

More to come later.

Shame On Me

Let's face it, we all have things we are ashamed of. Hitting that girl on the playground that wouldn't play with you, stealing your brothers favorite pants, having too much to drink at a party. We all have these things in our past. Things we would just as soon forget. I have my share of them that is for sure. I won't go into them here because then this would be a novel instead of a blog. 

Sometimes, I really hate running into old friends from high school or college. You know those well meaning friends that only want to talk about those very moments that you are ashamed of in your life. Like, "Hey do you remember the time that you...". Of course, I stand there with a panicked look especially if my wife or kids are with me. Not cool, dude!!

But these times are a reality of my past. They are a part of who I am. I am a broken, sinful, forgiven, and redeemed child of God. I now have to live differently. I do struggle though when these stories are recalled and we have to deal with the feelings of shame all over again. It is in times like these, that I must turn again to the foot of the cross, to the Jesus who was broken and hung on a cross for me. It is only through the suffering and humiliation that Jesus endured that I have been redeemed.

I thank God for my shame moments. These have developed in me a great sense of empathy for others. In Romans 6:9-13 today it asks the question What did you gain from the things you are now ashamed of. Well for me, these things did not gain anything for me at the time they happened but they are now being used to bear fruit in the kingdom of God. At least, that is what I pray for.

Slaves

We are all slaves. We all submit ourselves to slavery or service to something or someone. We can be slaves of our jobs, our hobbies, our money or sinfulness. But we can also become slaves for Christ. That sounds kind of funny but becoming a willing slave for Christ frees us to live in his love as he is the perfect master who cares lovingly for us, his sheep, his flock.

I have been praying and thinking a lot about this, this week. You see my interview for the diaconate is coming up on Saturday and I have spending extra time in prayer asking God what his will for me is. This reflection time makes me look back at my life, the good and the bad. The times I am proud of and the times I would like to forget. This morning and I read and prayed over the reading from Romans 6:12-18, I saw myself and realize that I have given myself as a slave of Christ and I must now follow him. From Romans:

Brothers and sisters:Sin must not reign over your mortal bodies so that you obey their desires. And do not present the parts of your bodies to sin as weapons for wickedness, but present yourselves to God as raised from the dead to life and the parts of your bodies to God as weapons for righteousness. For sin is not to have any power over you, since you are not under the law but under grace.

What then? Shall we sin because we are not under the law but under grace? Of course not! Do you not know that if you present yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God that, although you were once slaves of sin, you have become obedient from the heart to the pattern of teaching to which you were entrusted. Freed from sin, you have become slaves of righteousness.

Then we come to the gospel where it talks about servants and how great it will be for the servants whom the master finds ready when he comes. I realize that I must always be ready. That I cannot give myself over to sinful ways and not be ready for the time when God calls me to himself and to his service. I pray that I will be ready for whatever God is calling me to and to help align myself with His Holy will.

Noise!!!!!

I was very fortunate to be able to go on retreat this weekend. I have been attending this annual men's retreat for over 20 years. Wow, that is a long time. While it is always good some are better than others. I was not expecting much this year. Probably because I really needed it.

The one thing I wanted during this retreat was quiet. To retreat from the world and spend alone time with God. The Holy Spirit was on the ball. As I sat there for the first talk our retreat leader talked about noise and all of the things in our lives that keep us from hearing God. The list is long; TV, radio, cell phones, computers. I mean, like how many of us are permanently attached to our smart phones?

The day before the retreat I got to go fishing at the coast. It was about a 4 hour drive and the 5 of us in the car talked a little bit but we all sat there with our iPhones busily looking up different information(the weather, sports scores, best route to take or playing games). In our world to day we have more information flow than ever. Sometimes this is good but it can often block the information that we really need. Information from God.

The retreat center has a great feature. No cell phone reception. It is a blissful oasis of quiet. Many of the retreat participants would walk around like Spock from Star Trek with his tricorder looking for a signal. 

I am back in the real world now. I pray that I can find the way to keep the noise out of my life and to hear that still soft voice of God.